Creepy... Imagination.... :-O

May be this is a continuation of "I am missing..."... but just that it has turned out a lot more creepier with my imagination... Read it along... with a hope of understanding... whatever it is...Many have said it... written it... in various forms and rhymes. But to realize it without having anything to justify... is absolutely weird. It is about this feeling within... around me... as if I am supposed to do something. As if entire world is revolving around me... as if 'they' all are just watching me to do it... But the point is... I have no idea... if they are wanting me to pick the bait... or watching me to entangle the knot... ???!!!Nobody around me... including myself are giving me any clue... Then, how am I supposed to know what am I supposed to do... I tried talking to people a lot, tried thinking a lot, tried making happy face a lot and all that lot many sort. Nothing happened. That hunch that something is going to happen is going stronger and stronger. Then I thought that may be I should be a lot silent, or may be I should watch a lot of TV programs... or even just cry out loud to drain that tear tank in my head.Having been silent a lot, I lost touch... and spoke a lot of gibberish, which due to situation or my reputation or by sheer coincidence... also made a lot of sense... and made it bad to worse... Is it really happening for real or am I in a dream... Damn....And then, I watched a lot of TV and movies, but even then that feeling came back and forth, during the scenes, during commercials, making me jump out of the seat and wander around, telling myself... do it - do it now... and 5 seconds later... I am back in the seat... waiting for the next pulse of 'do it - do it now'... to hit me on my head...And then, I tried crying and was successful... (without ever getting to know why I cried)... and the feeling ... that me having supposed to have done something went away... may be for a few hours... but then... it came back again... with the same intensity... and insanity...Here I am writing all this all along... with the hope of finding answers... to get away with that pin pricking feeling... and that urge to do something but not knowing what to do. May be ... I should cry periodically, to atleast keep that feeling away for sometime... but whats the use ... it is just a pacifier... and that feeling is deep down there... eating me inside out... burning me within... ripping me apart...IF.... (sigh) Only if everything could happen just like that, without a purpose, without a reason... without a..... (sigh...) ... WHY .....................................................................................................................Eitherways... if you find out as to what I am supposed to do... or want to collude with me against these/those conspirators ... let me knowPsychingOutInTheInsaneWorld@The.OnTheTimeAxis- Darshan