Sowing... for a rich harvest...

Just completed reading a story - Fiesta by Devu HanehaLLi... in UdayavaaNi... and was some sort of a wakeup smack on the head... The title used... is a phrase in this story...Its all about how an individual with all bigger purpose in mind misses to see the primary purpose of situations... He initially believes in "Sowing... for a rich harvest..." ... and finally realizes... Sowing is different from harvesting... though they seem linked... they are not... they are independent... they are beyond that bigger purpose... they are around that primary ones...Offlate its been too confusing... if all this is about happiness... or just about that... whatever that is... I've realized all of us ... somehow or the other... keep doing those same tasks... that had caused us pain, misery at some point of time, for us or for somebody else... because we did them. And I am unable to figure out why...Similar pattern of behaviors are repeated again and again... consciously or unconsciously... that lead to similar set of pains... Is it because we actually inherently like them?... I don't know... Or may be its all about masking the primary purposes with a bigger one...Its a weird feeling to carry weight... At times... u feel proud because u have been able to carry them... and many times... u feel weak because u can't carry them anymore... You just would want to shed them away, feel light and run around like mad ... and ... and... you don't even know if you should carry them... or weirder... why did u start off carrying in first place... but you do... because you feel its right... because you feel you have been entrusted with this weight... because you are working for that bigger purpose... but really... you have no idea why are you actually doing this... practically loosing out on the primary ...I wish I could shed weight...I know I can... I know I want to...I know I can't... I also know I don't want to...Essentially Dubious,Darshan.